


Breathe Me

by Laurenhd08



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: All the baes are gonna go through shit guys, Angst, Child Abuse, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Psychological Trauma, Rotten four frienship, Self-Harm, Torture, Triggers, dark themes, this is gonna be a long journey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 05:37:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11730600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurenhd08/pseuds/Laurenhd08
Summary: Auradon is big on promoting the idea that dreams come true. Mal isn't disputing that fact, she just has enough experience to know that nightmares do too.





	1. Step One: Take a Breath

She’s no stranger to exhaustion. It was normal to go days on the Isle without food or sleep, sometimes both, and being Maleficent’s daughter hadn’t shielded her from those harsh realities. In fact, it hadn’t been unusual for her mother to forbid her from sleeping until she completed a task or just to test her strength by seeing how long she could remain awake. Her fae blood had helped her on those occasions but not by much and she’d often find herself crashing at Evie’s place for an hour or two just to get the double vision that she was experiencing to ease up. Black circles had been a permanent fixture under her eyes for the majority of her life and were almost impossible to cover up, a fact that her blue haired counterpart constantly complained about. So yes, Mal had plenty of experience with exhaustion. She’d even go so far as to say that she’s spent a good portion of her sixteen years on this earth in a constant state of fatigue. That said, the feeling that she’s experiencing now? It’s a different beast entirely. If she had to describe it, she’d relate it to the sensation of having her life force syphoned from her body. Her head is pounding and her vision is hazy around the edges, not that she would be able to see much in her current surroundings anyway.

  
The room that she finds herself in is pitch black, the only source of light being a sliver under a door about ten feet away. Her arms are shackled to the ceiling by what she assumes to be iron chains if the burning pain in her wrists is anything to go by, and she can just touch the cold stone floor with the tips of her toes. There is blood trickling slowly down the side of her face from a gash that she can feel just above her eyebrow and her shirt and jacket are nowhere to be found, leaving her in just a thin tank top and ripped jeans. She can hear voices just outside the room and she doesn’t know why but her body has an intense reaction to one of them. It sounds vaguely familiar but she can’t focus on it. Her blood is boiling as a feeling of nausea rips through her stomach and hot tears begin a steady stream down her face and mix with the blood that has started to harden there. Her brain filters through words like ‘no’ and ‘run’ and ‘get out’ and the hinges on the door seem to vocalize her thoughts as they groan in protest under the weight of the heavy wood sliding open. An agonizing scream tears from her lips as the light streams in and the figure in the doorway becomes fully visible. She jolts awake drenched in a cold sweat and staring into concerned brown eyes.

  
Evie hears the scream and is up and out of bed before her mind has fully registered that she’s awake. Her eyes quickly scan the room for any immediate danger before landing on her girlfriend when they come up empty. Purple hair is damp with sweat and a pale face is scrunched up in an expression of pain. She can feel the bed quiver under the faerie’s shivering form as she crawls back onto the mattress and scoots closer to her. It’s not that their not used to dealing with one another’s nightmares, they’ve spent many nights coaxing each other back into a fitful slumber with gentle kisses and feather light touches. But Evie can count the amount of times that she’s heard her girlfriend scream on one hand and still have two fingers left over. Mal has always been the type to suffer in silence, a brief whimper or growl coming out occasionally when she’s particularly distraught but even those are rare.

  
“Mal,” she speaks calmly and quietly when she calls her name and makes sure to keep a few inches of distance between them. She knows Mal and she knows not to initiate contact when the faerie is unaware and afraid. Her girlfriend has a habit of getting defensive when she’s spooked and the last thing Evie needs right now is to be flung into the wall by her wayward magic. “M, c’mon.”

  
Green eyes jolt open and emit an intense glow as the purple haired girl shoots up from her position on the bed. The princess waits a few minutes until Mal’s eyes begin to flicker and dim before reaching out a hand and brushing a loose strand of violet out of her eyes. Neither one says a word and Evie reacts quickly when she sees the signs of panic start to settle onto the younger girl’s face. They know each other’s triggers well and it’s become common practice to deal with them before anything is even said. Mal’s claustrophobia is pretty severe and Evie knows that waking up covered in sweat and gasping for breath on a mattress that’s far too soft will make her feel smothered. She doesn’t hesitate in pulling her girlfriend to the cold floor and making her way to their bathroom to get a cool washcloth. She’s back on the floor in seconds and she simultaneously places the cloth on the shorter girl’s forehead and grabs for her hand so she can lay it above her own heart. It takes about five minutes for Mal’s breathing to slow to match her own and for her eyes to open from their previously scrunched up position.

  
“Okay?” Evie keeps her wording short and concise, her lover’s focus is scattered and she needs her to hear her right now. Mal shakes her head no so the blue haired girl continues, “okay, what do you need?”

  
“I’m- I can’t,” She stops for a second and tries to focus on getting the words out, “I’m hot and I’m sticky and it’s too much.”

  
Evie knows the feeling. Its equivalent to being stuck under a dozen blankets on the hottest day of the summer and it makes her feel agitated and like she wants to tear at her own skin. She gets it when she feels nauseas or like she’s choking and she relates it to the feeling of her mother’s fingers being forced down her throat in an attempt to get her to bring what little she’d eaten that day back up. Mal makes a point of steering her away from any bathroom when she feels this way and will usually lead her outside. From there they either sit and talk until she realizes that she couldn’t be forming words if she were back on the Isle with her mother hovering over her and forcing her to throw up, or they run until she feels like she’s far enough away from her demons.

  
Mal get’s the panicky-hot feeling when she feels trapped or when she’s overheated. She relates it to the rank and hot breath of her mother’s disgusting lackeys as they held her down and to the burning sensation of iron cuffs being placed around her wrists and neck when she disobeyed the Mistress of all Evil. If the anxiety is related to feeling trapped, then Evie will bring her to the most open space available and avoid touching until the faerie initiates it. But if it’s related to feeling overheated, then the older girl knows that Mal needs to be physically cooled down.

  
She can tell that her girlfriend is stuck in her own head as she leads her into the bathroom and turns the shower nozzle to a colder setting before turning it on. She’s quick to strip them both of their pajama tops and shorts but she makes sure to leave their bras and underwear in place. Mal is vulnerable right now and she’s not going to make that feeling any worse for the sake of spearing a few pieces of cloth… if only her mother could see her now.

  
The water is freezing when she guides them both under the spray but she’s had to do this enough times now that she doesn’t gasp or make any noises of protest. Evie can see the tension start to ease from the faerie’s shoulders and it doesn’t take long before she’s resting her forehead on the taller girl’s shoulder and allowing her to play with the tips of her hair. A strangled sob makes it way out of Mal’s mouth and the blue haired princess is quick to pull her as close to her body as she can as she presses a light kiss on top of damp, purple locks. Tears are better than silence but they still break her heart.

  
“Baby,” Evie speaks when the hyperventilating starts up again, “you need to breathe, okay? Look at me. Breathe.”

  
Green eyes lock onto brown and she’s quick to catch her breath this time. Evie wants to know what worked her girlfriend into such a panicked state but she doesn’t ask. Talking is for tomorrow, when it’s light out and Mal’s demons can’t hide in the shadows. Tonight is for healing.

 

A/N: So this story is obviously going to have multiple chapters and a pretty intense plot, but the main focus is on Mal and Evie’s relationship and on the girls as individuals. I love this ship and I think these two balance each other out really well so I’m excited to write for them. For now, this story is doesn’t have a beta so any and all mistakes are my own. I plan to go pretty dark with this and I have put trigger warnings in the tags so please don’t read this if it is going to have a negative effect on your mental health. I love constructive criticism and idea sharing so feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think and what you want to happen.


	2. Step 2: Hold it

“Mal! Seriously, let me look at it!” Evie wakes up to the sound of the door to the dorm room swinging open and angry footsteps echoing loudly across the floor. It takes her eyes a minute to adjust to the light streaming in through the large window by her bed, but once they do they immediately fall on the concerned and slightly guilty expression that adorns Jay’s face.

  
“Fuck off, Jay. I said I’m fine.” Mal’s voice comes out slightly broken and it doesn’t take long for her to see why. Her girlfriend’s hands are stained crimson and she’s holding the taller boy’s beanie to her nose in an effort to stop the steady flow of blood that is making its way down her face. Evie sighs softly before getting up and heading to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit. This isn’t the first time she’s had to patch up someone that she cares about and it won’t be the last.

  
“Sit,” She points to the purple haired faerie and then to the bed, dragging a chair over from her sewing station so she can be comfortable while she works. She gets a glare and a mumbled ‘I’m fine’ thrown in her direction but Mal complies easily enough. “What happened?”

  
“Jay punched me in the face.” Mal says as she side-eyes the boy who has made his way over to the bed to perch next to her. This earns her a noise of protest and a light shove to the shoulder, an action he deeply regrets when Evie levels him with her patented glare.

  
“I didn’t punch her in the face, she threw her face on my fist like a fucking maniac.” He stops when he sees Mal’s smirk and realizes how ridiculous he sounds. “It’s true! We were boxing after _someone_  woke me up at an ungodly hour to go on a 5k run with her, and she decided to go all space cadet in the middle of sparring. I went to shake her out of it and her first response was to head butt me. I got my arms up in time to block it but she bashed her face off my fist.” Evie looks to Mal for confirmation and receives an eye roll and a nod of the head.

  
“Why can’t the two of you just do yoga like Carlos and me?” Mal’s nose has stopped bleeding long enough for the older girl to remove the cloth that she had replaced the beanie with and take a good look at it. She’d seen and experienced her fair share of injuries on the Isle and she knows enough to know that it’s not broken, she expects it to bruise pretty badly though and she hands the shorter girl an ice pack to help with the swelling.

  
“We do. It’s called stretching and it’s usually something that people tend to do to warm up before the actual work out.” Jay throws a smirk in her direction but it does nothing to lessen the look of annoyance that has made itself a home on her face.

  
“Why don’t you go try that one out on your boyfriend, see how long it’ll be before he performs downward dog for you again?” The older boy laughs at her and sends her a wink before leaning over and laying a quick kiss to the top of Mal’s head and giving another quiet apology. They all mean the world to each other but Mal and Jay have known one another the longest, they’ve been through a lot together and their bond is one that Evie would be jealous of if she wasn’t so secure in her relationship. The former thief sends a quick wave and heads out the door, probably in search of food or Carlos, maybe both.

  
Her girlfriend is quiet as she holds the ice pack to her nose and the blue haired princess takes a minute to study her. There are dark circles under her eyes that Evie hasn’t seen since the Isle and her skin looks paler than usual.

  
“What was the dream about, M?” She doesn’t waste anytime in getting straight to the point, she’s worried and she’s tired and she doesn’t have the patience to wait for Mal to come to her about this. The faerie just lifts her shoulder to form a half shrug and Evie lets out a sigh of frustration before reaching out and taking a hold of her girlfriend’s chin, forcing her to meet her eyes. “Mal. What was it about?”

  
“I don’t know. I was in some sort of cell or basement or something and it was dark and I was hurt. That’s it.” Evie isn’t buying it. Mal doesn’t scream and panic and dissociate for nothing, there would have had to be more to the dream to elicit such an intense reaction. She lifts her eyebrow in challenge and stares at the younger girl until she breaks. “It was the feeling. I don’t know, it felt real and intense and I couldn’t control my body’s reactions but I felt like I was there. Usually when I wake up from a nightmare, I know it’s just a dream, but this time I-” She stops and rubs at her wrists for a few seconds before continuing, “It feels like this is the dream. Like I’m gonna wake up in that room… alone.”

  
Evie studies green eyes for a minute before pulling the smaller girl off of the edge of the bed and onto her lap. The kiss that she initiates is hard and fast and passionate, but she’s careful not to bump the other girl’s nose. She’s not letting this go, but she knows when Mal doesn’t feel like talking and so right now she’s going to try to focus on making her feel something.

  
“Did that feel real?” Evie shoots her a soft smile as she pulls away and rests their foreheads together.

  
“I don’t know. I might need a little more convincing.” Mal’s changing the subject but it’s not forever and they need time to just be them, without the looming thoughts of the Isle, unwelcoming Auradonians, or abandoned evil schemes. So for right now, Evie is happy to play along.

 

A/N: Hey guys! Another chapter of interactions. Don’t worry, plot will kick in soon, I’m just trying to establish relationship dynamics and the ground on which the plot will be built. I’ve got a rough outline of where I’m going with this but I love to collab and go in new directions, so if anyone has any ideas they want to share or anything they want to see happen, please let me know and I will definitely consider incorporating it. Let me know what you think of the chapter and thank you for the reviews, favorites and follows!


	3. Step 3: Keep Holding

It’s about the time that Mal wakes up screaming from a nightmare for the third night in a row that Evie starts to realize the seriousness of the situation. She’s tried to be patient and wait for her girlfriend to come to her when she’s ready, but Mal isn’t budging and she knows she’s going to have to get pushy. It’s not the nightmares in particular that are concerning her, they’ve all been plagued by them for most of their lives, it’s the effect that they seem to be having on the faerie. In the last forty-eight hours, Evie would guess that Mal has had about seven hours of sleep tops and that’s including the power naps that the princess has forced her to take with her in between classes. She’s watched the shorter girl nurse a pretty constant headache over the past few days and there have been at least three encounters where she’s kept a tight grip on her waist because she looked about two seconds from passing out. Yes, Evie is just about at her wits end with watching her girlfriend run herself ragged. So she plans.

  
She’s been meaning to take Mal out for awhile now and she knows that the other girl will be more than a little resistant to opening up if she sees the ambush coming; this is Mal after all. She decides on dinner at a little hole in the wall in downtown Auradon and maybe some drinks after that to get the girl talking. She’s not above playing dirty.

  
When Mal walks in, sweaty from _another_  5k run, Evie is just finishing the dress that she plans to wear tonight. It’s short enough that she knows it will drive the other girl crazy but long enough that she’ll still look classy in a dining room setting. The dress is strapless and blue with black strips on the sides serving as both decoration and to highlight her curves. She has a black cardigan and strapped heels already laid out on the bed and ready to go. Her mother may have been wrong about a lot of things but her lessons in fashion and beauty had yet to fail her.

  
“Shower.” Evie gestures to the bathroom without looking up from her task. She hears her girlfriend chuckle quietly to herself and take a seat on the table right next to where she’s working, completely ignoring her earlier demand.

  
“Are we going somewhere?” Mal questions. When Evie looks up there is an amused smile on the girl’s face that hadn’t been there for a few days and she finds that her own lips curl up to match the expression as she takes a moment to soak up her girlfriend’s appearance. Mal’s wearing a thin tank top and running shorts and wisps of hair are escaping her ponytail to frame her face. Her eyes are alight with mirth as she meets the blue haired princess’s gaze and her breath is still coming out in pants from the earlier exertion. Evie’s pretty sure she’s never met anyone as otherworldly and breathtaking as Mal and it doesn’t surprise her that her breath still catches in her throat when she catches sight of her. “You’re doing that thing again.”

  
“What thing?” She’s snapped out of her thoughts when she hears Mal chuckle again. The faerie is tracing her bottom lip with her thumb and she’s giving Evie the same look that she’s sure was just on her own face. She makes a show of playfully nipping at Mal’s fingers before responding again. “That thing where I look at you like you’re my entire world? I wonder why that could be.”

  
Mal’s response is to turn her gaze down toward the floor as a bright blush starts to make its way up her neck and across her cheeks. Evie will never get tired of the effect that she has on the younger girl and she moves to stand in between her legs before pulling her into a slow and teasing kiss. She finds herself losing a bit of her control when she feels Mal’s hands start to run freely through her hair and it takes everything she has to pull her own hand away from a toned thigh.

  
“To answer your previous question; yes, we are going somewhere. I’m taking you out to dinner.” Her words come out a little raspy but she pulls herself together quite nicely, if someone were to walk in right now they’d have no idea that she’d just been debating spreading her girlfriend out on her sewing table and having her way with her right then and there.

  
Mal’s only real response is an eyebrow raise and a wink before she’s grabbing Evie’s hand and pulling her towards the bathroom with her. She doesn’t even get a word out before the door is closing behind them and she’s being pushed up against it while the other girl attacks her neck with perfect lips that Evie is intimately familiar with.

  
“I’ve always loved the prospect of having dessert before the main course.” She thinks briefly that she should put a stop to this. That Mal is running on little to no sleep and that tonight is supposed to be about getting her to open up. But as soon as she feels the shorter girl’s nails scrape gently over her back from their position under her blouse, she knows that she’s a goner. She never could say no to Mal. When she feels the faerie’s hands slip to her front and start to pull the buttons of her shirt apart, she loses the little restraint that she’s been holding onto. Her hands come up to tangle in violet hair and she’s quick to bring the other girl’s lips up into a bruising kiss. She pushes herself off the wall and begins to walk her girlfriend backwards toward the shower. Her left hand detangles itself and she searches blindly for the hot water valve, most of her concentration still focused on the beautiful faerie that she’s engaged in a lip lock with.

  
It’s the sound of the water turning on that causes Mal to freeze. Evie takes a step back as soon as she feels the flinch under her fingertips and doesn’t say a word, she just waits for some sort of verbal or physical cue that will communicate what her girlfriend needs from her right now. This isn’t something that happens often, but it does happen. They lived on an island filled to the brim with criminals for sixteen years; sometimes they find it hard to remember that painful touches and rough hands are now replaced with gentle caresses and soft skin.

  
It takes her a second to realize that it wasn’t the contact that was the source of Mal’s reaction, but the water. Evie has to physically shut off the shower and pull her out of the room before the younger girl loses the manic look that had seeped into green orbs when she had first turned the water on. Mal had always had a fear of water but never like this. Never to the point that she would freeze at the mere sound of it. It’s not a long shot to guess that this has something to do with the nightmares that her girlfriend has been on the receiving end of for the last few nights.

  
“Baby.” Her tone is soft but concerned and her eyes are scanning for even the slightest micro expression that could clue her in to what is happening. “What the hell?”  
“Evie just- just not right now okay?” Mal’s poker face is quick to rear its ugly head and Evie has to fight back an exasperated sigh. “I’m gonna wash up and then we’ll go.”

  
She doesn’t have time to respond before the bathroom door is shut firmly in her face and the lock is being clicked in to place. A growl escapes her lips before she can stop it and her fist hits the corner of her work table a little too forcefully. Her girlfriend is an expert at walls and guards and running but she’s getting answers, and she’s getting them tonight.

 

A/N: Hope you guys liked it, let me know what you think. Date night will be next chapter and Evie won’t be satisfied until Mal lets her in.


End file.
